Local Student Does Something Shocking

Article by Micah Schmitz - SJHS Student Staff Writer

In breaking news, a local student has sneezed. This was met with shocked reports from other students, as they had never heard anything so disastrous. While authorities do not wish for the identity of the student to be known, we can confirm that the sneeze happened sometime between three o'clock, and four o'clock  on Wednesday the 26th. As most sneezes move at one hundred miles per hour, which is almost two times as fast as a hurricane, it's understandable that some students are shocked. One eighth grade student, Carson Lyman said “'I’ve heard of people sneezing before, but I never thought it would happen at our school.” and many agree, while another student, Oliver Smith a ninth grade student said “ A sneeze is beauty in it's purest form. This [sneeze] is perhaps my favorite thing in general of all time.” Whatever the results of this sneeze, we as a school, and as a nation, will have to come together.